funky cloud - go away!

there's been this funky cloud hanging around lately. a cloud that has kept me in a consistent 'not so good' mood. and i finally realized why the cloud wouldn't move.
it wouldn't leave me alone because i forgot something big. really big. 

i forgot that i was a strong woman. a woman who by the age of twenty-two had served as the president of her sorority, the president of her student body (for two years), the president of panhellenic on campus, the founder of a couple different organizations, the winner of multiple campus and community-wide awards, and a recipient of a bachelors degree in graphic design and business.

i forgot that all of that catapulted me on a wild journey (one that required me to learn how to truly leap and believe) to texas. i forgot that straight out of college i was accepted into a graduate program at baylor university, where i was given the opportunity to serve as the graduate assistant for campus programming. i forgot that while maintaining a full schedule of classes, etc., i planned, organized, implemented, and did design for many of the largest programs and events on campus and the community.

i forgot that the journey continued through accusations that (should have) resulted in lawsuits. i forgot that when my name was thrown through the mud at that institution i took on a full-time job and continued my education. i forgot that i held my head high and mastered my masters degree in educational administration for student affairs administration through that shadow. i forgot i didn't let anything hold me back.

i forgot that while many of my friends at that institution turned their backs on me because of the accusations, i dove into the job i had at the time. i forgot that i put a smile on the faces of so many people.

i also forgot that i was granted the opportunity to teach at a college that is truly changing the lives of those that attend it. i forgot that i was the teacher that students asked for. i forgot that by teaching an adult how to add 2+2, i changed her life. i changed his life. i changed their children's (and grandchildren's) lives.

i forgot that i put me second in coming back to my hometown. i forgot that i left a job (career) i loved and moved back to columbia because my family needed me. i forgot that the reason i left so many awesome people and wonderful opportunities was because i put what was best for others before what i wanted.

i forgot how much strength that all took. i forgot that through it all i have kept a smile on my face. i have put my all into the job i currently have (even when the tears stream down my face). i have joined organizations, served on boards, continued to give.

i am strong. i do have a family i cherish. i have a sweet puppy that has eyes of love only for me.

i might not be where i want to be professionally. i might be written off by some people because i hang out with my family. i might speak out of turn. i might enjoy a glass (or two) of wine. and i might not have many friends (much less a husband and children of my own).
but i am strong. and i do bring a completely different knowledge base to every meeting. every post. and every thought.

and i am on the journey. and on the journey you have to remember. remember the strength it takes to get up and move throughout each day. on the journey i have to remember: i am worth it. i am real. and i am strong.