let's change the world.

it's now that i can voice why my current job is not the end all, be all for my employment situation. although i have known it since the day i started, putting a 'reason,' a 'reality' to it has been hard. and finding the words to explain it has been even harder.

but through looking at the community around me, looking within myself, listening to lots of inspirational speakers, thinking about my past experiences, etc., i've realized... i had it right when i wrote the summary for my linkedin profile:

My goal in life and in work is to have the ability to help people make the changes they want to see in the world. I want to help people; to be their resource and shoulder in their pursuits. I want to provide the chance for personal development in others and create not only their greatest imagined potential, but a reality that is actually far past what they may imagine.

where i'm at now i'm not helping make change. i'm not moving others forward. i'm not creating chances for personal development in others.
i am left to change headings. worry about things that don't (in my mind) need to be worried about. redo the same thing twenty times before i'm told to resort back to what my original thought was.

it's not motivating. it's not making a difference. it's simply... work.
and that's never who i've wanted to be. never what i've wanted to do.

(this is the point you tell me, well in your free time you could do all those other things)... and you're right. and i do. but being in a place where you are continually required to do things that don't really matter in your eyes is well... draining.

i'm tired of being drained at the end of the day from doing nothing. i want to put my heart into what i do. every day. in every way i possibly can.
and i'm ready for that (have been ready for that).

it's time to get back to helping. get back to being a resource. a shoulder. a chance for growth and new-found potential.
it's time i put the words to what is frustrating rather than just being frustrated.

let's change the world.

invasion of the hook-up culture.

and so i wondered... and wondered some more. about the question of communication and it's reflection on society's difficulty with commitment. the constant need for more. the constant search for something better.

until i got knocked over the head with an insight that lead to my personal conclusion via the form of a (not so) sweet little facebook message. my conclusion: a simple yes. 

our lack of REAL communication does reflect on society's difficulty with commitment.

maybe i'm nostalgic for a day when you could read people's faces instead of their thoughts in the form of lettered characters. (and not even individualized lettered characters at that). or maybe i'm just sick of little bubbles that pop up with words a person would never say to another person's face.

either way, our communication habits HAVE changed the world of relationships. our habits have created a never-ending search. and that never-ending search has led to a culture that doesn't know how to (nor really want to) commit. 

the hook-up culture of the college campus has invaded. and is in the process of taking over... guess it's time we cross our finger's, clasp our hands, and hope the hook-ups don't wipe out the real that is still out there. 

real communication? eh?

the response was short. pithy (without meaning to be). it was a text. there were a thousand other things running through the mind and a beep-beep from the oven in the background.
but it changed it all. one letter. the mood was broken. the possibility shattered.


how do we communicate in this era of multiple screens and yet still live in the moment? how do we communicate feeling via 140 characters? how do we do it all (and stay sane at the same time)?

i sit at my desk this afternoon thinking about how much i crave communication. constant communication. (the two monitors, one ipad, and one iphone really help fill this desire).
but i sit at home each evening struck by the lack of REAL communication in my life. the lack of true relational communication.

is there an answer to this question of communication? is there a way to turn off and yet stay on at the same time? i wish i knew.


(and then i wonder, is this question of communication a direct reflection on society's difficulty with commitment? a reflection of the constant need for more? the constant search for something better?)  

embody it: strength.

photo: dan gill

funky cloud - go away!

there's been this funky cloud hanging around lately. a cloud that has kept me in a consistent 'not so good' mood. and i finally realized why the cloud wouldn't move.
it wouldn't leave me alone because i forgot something big. really big. 

i forgot that i was a strong woman. a woman who by the age of twenty-two had served as the president of her sorority, the president of her student body (for two years), the president of panhellenic on campus, the founder of a couple different organizations, the winner of multiple campus and community-wide awards, and a recipient of a bachelors degree in graphic design and business.

i forgot that all of that catapulted me on a wild journey (one that required me to learn how to truly leap and believe) to texas. i forgot that straight out of college i was accepted into a graduate program at baylor university, where i was given the opportunity to serve as the graduate assistant for campus programming. i forgot that while maintaining a full schedule of classes, etc., i planned, organized, implemented, and did design for many of the largest programs and events on campus and the community.

i forgot that the journey continued through accusations that (should have) resulted in lawsuits. i forgot that when my name was thrown through the mud at that institution i took on a full-time job and continued my education. i forgot that i held my head high and mastered my masters degree in educational administration for student affairs administration through that shadow. i forgot i didn't let anything hold me back.

i forgot that while many of my friends at that institution turned their backs on me because of the accusations, i dove into the job i had at the time. i forgot that i put a smile on the faces of so many people.

i also forgot that i was granted the opportunity to teach at a college that is truly changing the lives of those that attend it. i forgot that i was the teacher that students asked for. i forgot that by teaching an adult how to add 2+2, i changed her life. i changed his life. i changed their children's (and grandchildren's) lives.

i forgot that i put me second in coming back to my hometown. i forgot that i left a job (career) i loved and moved back to columbia because my family needed me. i forgot that the reason i left so many awesome people and wonderful opportunities was because i put what was best for others before what i wanted.

i forgot how much strength that all took. i forgot that through it all i have kept a smile on my face. i have put my all into the job i currently have (even when the tears stream down my face). i have joined organizations, served on boards, continued to give.

i am strong. i do have a family i cherish. i have a sweet puppy that has eyes of love only for me.

i might not be where i want to be professionally. i might be written off by some people because i hang out with my family. i might speak out of turn. i might enjoy a glass (or two) of wine. and i might not have many friends (much less a husband and children of my own).
but i am strong. and i do bring a completely different knowledge base to every meeting. every post. and every thought.

and i am on the journey. and on the journey you have to remember. remember the strength it takes to get up and move throughout each day. on the journey i have to remember: i am worth it. i am real. and i am strong. 

not always the case.

when you wake up in the morning and have a sweet puppy looking up at you with eyes that suggest nothing but love... you expect your friday to go well. 

however, this is not always the case.

when the work portion of your friday begins with a meeting at a coffee shop... you also expect your friday to go well. 

once again, not always the case.

sometimes friday bites you in the behind. even when at the beginning all signs point toward good things. this is the point at which you should just bite your lip and grab another cup of coffee (or have your birthday girl sister bring you one at work). 

at least you know you'll be awake when friday really starts -- after work. 

logo overload.

i get attached (to work, to life, to projects, to people). sidenote: attachment is not a bad thing. in fact, i think my attachment often enables me to push through and achieve a final result that i'm happy with.

when that attachment and intense energy toward a project is struck down because of a lack of logos... i get irritated. we are a community that loves our logos. a community that embraces creativity. a community that likes to identify with brands.
but we are also a community immersed in logo overload. and at some point, design and function have to come together.

one logo = good.
three logos & your company name written out multiple times = bad.

creating something for an incoming generation of college/graduate students is not about logo overload. it's about the 'cool' factor. it's about the design and function. (by the way,  i do have a decent background in college students, not only was i a college student, but i was also a graduate student, and i got my masters degree in working with college students - so really, i'm not just making this up). 

so throw out the outdated logos. throw out the outdated desire to include your name on everything that everyone touches.

entice with design. get the material in hand. and then make them want it.
students don't want to be told what to do. they want the chance to make the decision on their own. and they want to feel like they're doing the 'cool' thing.

end story - one logo is more than enough.
lack of logo and simple hashtag or web address... even more exciting.

gray wall: meet can of paint.

this morning i sat in on an entrepreneurial session. listened to people talk about their start-ups. listened to awesome ideas and was overwhelmed by the amount of brain power i could literally feel within the room.

(exciting, yes)! my mind was racing. the thoughts were coming from my mouth in a completely non-understandable format. the images were leaping from brain wave to brain wave.

but then i walked into my own workplace... and i was overwhelmingly drained. not because of the overt thought processes that had just occurred, but rather because all i could see was the gray wall in front of me that seemingly repels the taste of 'new.'

i have ideas. i have good ideas. i want to help those people with awesome ideas get to 'the people' they want to reach. and i can. problem solving is fun for me. give me a puzzle and let's make the picture whole. let's find something to fill that empty void that is a result of a piece gone missing ten years ago. let's make it work (to borrow from tim gunn).

the company i work for just doesn't work that way. there are hierarchies. there are processes. there are rules. there is not 'on the spot' problem solving. no 'on the spot' creation. definitely no running with it because it could be the next big thing.

is it crazy to want to work outside of those rules? crazy to think that working outside those rules can actually move things forward? crazy to think that sometimes you just have to throw a can of paint at the gray wall and hope for the best?

i hope it's not crazy. the can of paint is coming.