the lasting effects of 'it's just boys being boys.'

a month ago i took the time to write about my thoughts on the true spirit of democracy. although my thoughts have not changed and i still hate political scheming and political posturing... the events of the past week have left me raw.

i wish that the conversations being had about sexual harassment and sexual assault were mainstream when i was growing up. i wish that i had felt as though i could speak out when the worst happened to me. i wish that my being silenced and ridiculed for saying something would have led to positive change instead of fear. 

and i believe we are at a point in history where women (and all people) are now offered the ability to speak out. are provided the space. the support. the belief in them. 

but the comments throughout this past week terrify me because they shake that core. they make me doubt that others will feel safe stepping up and saying a behavior, an action, a string of words, is wrong. they make me doubt that the amazing strides that have been made will be lasting.

those doubts tear at me. 

for the 8th grader who cried almost everyday because of the actions of a few boys who thought it was funny to grab at nonexistent breasts and endlessly harass her both verbally and physically. for that girl who told her teacher (in tears) how much it hurt her. and for that girl who had the teacher tell her, 'it's just boys being boys, grow up.' 

for that girl that was silenced for so many years because of that statement. for that girl who thought that it was her duty to stay silent from that point on and just accept it (no matter how many times it happened and by how many different individuals throughout the years). for that girl who internalized those comments and came to see herself as less... for that girl... for me... i cannot stand the thought of others being silenced. of others feeling like they cannot come forward and be believed. 

and for all who have thought they were less because of the actions or words of another, for all of those who were silenced, for all of those who were told it was 'just boys being boys'... the comments of this presidential race should infuriate you. 

we are all worth it. we should not (and will not) be silenced. 

the true spirit of democracy.

i love democracy. i actually don't even mind politics. but i hate political scheming. and political posturing. and drawing lines in the sand that determine who is right and who is wrong. 

democracy: 'a state of society characterized by formal equality of rights and privileges; political or social equality.' 

the united states of america was founded on the concept of democracy. founded on the idea that all people deserved to be on an equal playing field. (yes, obviously there were points in history where that was not always the case... and those are not points of our nation's history that should be celebrated). 

but what should be celebrated is that american people came together in those points of history to step up. to make a difference for those in the future. for us. and i am grateful for that. so very grateful. 

in the past week i've been reflecting on this. reflecting on the thought of what 'democracy' is... what it looks like in reality. and how that is seen (or not seen) in our everyday lives. and i'm sad to say i think the current political state of our nation leading up to this presidential election has only succeeded in eroding the sense of democracy. 

#everdaysexism is rampant. and it's showing itself in the form of political pundits intent on getting 'their guy' elected. i was informed (not so politely) at a tailgate over the weekend that our nation was better when women stayed at home and men were allowed to do whatever they so desired. i was informed that it was not my place to have any control over my own life or my own career. i was informed that the only place i should have even a bit of control over was my home (because i was to tend to the home and make sure everything was just right for the man). 

i wanted to say so much. i wanted to tell this individual that they had lost their mind. i wanted to lose it on them. 

but. i realized something. short of a very brief point i made... it was not worth continuing this particular conversation and i walked away knowing that there was no positive movement that would come from further interaction.

i come from a place where i believe in listening to all points of view. believe in the reality that all people are allowed to have their own opinions (and honestly, i appreciate that we are a nation that usually celebrates varied opinions). and i come from a place where i don't want to change your views, but rather i seek to understand your views and expect the same respect from you. 

lines in the sand have never succeeded in moving our nation forward. but reaching across those lines and aiming for understanding... well that has succeeded in moving our nation forward. 

i encourage all of us to keep this in mind during conversations about the upcoming election(s) and politics in general. i encourage all of us to realize that beliefs are formed over long periods of time. beliefs are ours. and ours alone. we can coexist with differing beliefs. but we must do so respectfully. 

here's to democracy. the true spirit of democracy.